Updated: Sep 22, 2020
How you have been doing? (I hope good 😊) Like I mentioned in my earlier post that we will be talking about Emotions. So, this the second post of the same series. Today, I am going to talk about one of the most important topics in Life. WE struggle for it, and some time with it. Yes, you guessed right its TRUST. We will be understanding this complex concept, and then I will tell you how to build it. (even if it's broken by somebody), so let’s start.
So, what is Trust?
I always believed it is important to understand from scratch. So, you all are aware of what is trust, some call it faith some call it honesty, for some it's just relying on someone.
But my definition says-- Trust is the faith you have in someone that they will always remain loyal to you and love you. To trust someone means that you can rely on them and are comfortable confiding in them because you feel safe with them. We all believe that trust is one of the most important factors in building a relationship. Trust is the foundation upon which your relationship can survive the hardest of times. In fact, without trust, you cannot sustain your relationship for a long time. Lack of trust is one of the reasons for relationships to fall apart.
So, Why Trust is Important?
Here is why trust is the driving factor in relationships:
1- Love without Trust, not possible: As mentioned earlier, trust is the building block of any relationship. And imaging Love without trust is like thinking of fish without water. The same way as a fish can not survive without the water or water source, love also cannot survive without Trust. Just image you love someone, but you cannot trust that person, how hard is that to even think off. Your partner needs to know that you are trustworthy and won’t ditch them in difficult times. This feeling is important for love to sprout and flourish.
2- To overcome obstacles: That force which makes us believe that we can overcome any difficult situation is Trust. This can be self-trust, or someone else’s trust in you. Either because we trust we can, that’s why we could.
3- To control your negative Emotions: Sounds strange, but true. Trust is one of the most important factors which helps us to fight and control our negative emotions. Like I said whenever we are in a negative spot, it's only the trust which keeps us standing and believing what we think. If you are hurt or annoyed at them, it is the only trust that tells you that there must be some reason behind their annoying behavior.
4- No More Justifications: Another big and best part of trust (personally I love this one), that you don’t need to explain or justify everything. You know that your parents, friend, or partner will understand and trust your actions and decisions.
5- More Trust More Personal Space: Just imagine a place where everyone trusts you, you don’t have to be worried about any justification, and no negative thoughts are there due to insecurity. What will you do? You will be relaxed in your brain, and your brain will flow in a positive direction which will lead you to create/ do something new. Isn’t it amazing?
So, how do you know whether you can trust someone or not? It can be a tricky thing, but you can look for some signs.
Who to Trust or not?
1- Open conversations: People who keep conversations open and transparent. Allow the person, to get comfortable in his/her talk; let his/her guard down with you to shares the deepest secrets, thoughts, or fears. That’s a sure sign you can trust them. Reciprocate a person’s feelings by letting them know that you trust them.
2- Acknowledges mistakes: If someone is admitting any mistake without any inhibitions. If the person is honest about themselves and does not try to cover them up with an explanation. Honesty even in situations where it can get uncomfortable. If you get around someone like this, please trust them, and give them a chance, don’t judge them based on the mistake they did.
3- Sustains eye contact: Very shared factor, yet I am adding it here since it works. If a person looks into your eyes while talking to you, be assured that he/she is trustworthy. It shows that he/she has nothing to hide from you. If the person is unable to meet your eyes while talking it could mean that he is hiding something from you. Just be watchful.
4- Consistency in actions: We usually ignore this a lot of times while deciding to trust somebody or not. I am sure you would have come across such people too, who are inconsistent. For example, and a very dear friend of your’ s promises to help you in cleaning the house, he does it too. Maybe after a week or so, when you ask the same friend for any other help again, he promises but didn’t keep it, and you face trouble at last. These kinds of people should not be trusted, because you might get in bigger troubles while relying on them. Always trust the person who is reliable in his/ her actions and words.
How to Build Trust? (If it's broken by your mistake….)
Before going any further you need to understand that …Trust cannot be demanded, it must be earned. It does not come easy but takes time and effort to build. Building trust is always a two-way process, it is important to trust and equally important to be trusted. That requires mutual effort and commitment. Before building trust, you need to understand each other’s expectations and what trust means to you.
Here are some ways to build trust in your relationship:
Admit your Mistake—The very first step. You need to realize what you did wrong, and once you are there, admit it. Mistakes happen, it’s natural, but owning them is not easy. The first thing on your agenda of building trust is to admit your mistakes. So go for it!
Forgiveness-- the very 2nd step, if anyone is ready to accept that he/she was wrong, and did something unintentionally, then you should always forgive the person. It takes a lot of guts to admit that you are wrong, so just encourage the feeling. No one should not feel embarrassed in admitting his mistakes. Repentance shows that you want to build trust.
Earn it Back—The 3rd and most important one in a row. Once you admit your mistake and granted with forgiveness, then never repeat the same again. Like I mentioned earlier consistency is very important. If you can not keep a promise, better not to make it! Take small steps, try and understand the person with whom you want to build the trust. Always remember, trust can not be built in one day. You need to earn it by taking care of your behavior and actions.
Transparent Communications-- Talk openly and honestly and make sure that you don’t lie. Even small lies are lying only, and they hurt the same way as big lies do. Especially when you are Re-building the trust, it will act like venom, so better stay away. Speaking face-to-face is easier as you can understand each other’s intentions, emotions, and body language.
Keep Doubts Out-If you have any doubts in your mind, or in your relationship talk to the person about them instead of hesitating to ask them.
Support-- Being supportive is a given in any relationship. Don’t criticize or judge. Instead, put forth your opinions in a constructive way with the intention of helping him/her grow. Respect each other’s differences without judging.
There can be times when you feel overwhelmed with all the effort you are putting into building trust, with your family, friends, colleges, or in your relationship. Have patience and keep your calm because it is worth investing the time and effort as it can do wonders for your life.
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